The experts say that you should push out content as often as possible to maintain a relationship with your readers. Now, I’m no expert on marketing, but I’d rather maintain a good relationship with my readers.

I know how I behave when some company starts spamming my inbox every day. I tune it it out. Or sometimes, I unsubscribe. What does an author possibly have to say that’s so important she can’t do it in her book? Why must she harass her readers regularly with promo? I can’t fathom it. Recent studies have shown that people have learned to tune out advertisements in magazines. No matter how perfect the placement, if it isn’t something that speaks to the reader, her eyes will gloss right over it. I think email works the same way. That’s why I’ve come up with the Stephanie Draven theory on newsletters. That being:

Don’t send a newsletter unless you have, ya know…news.

I may turn out to be all wrong, of course. (As I get older, I seem to be wrong more often. Or at least, I’m more willing to admit it.) But I’m gonna take the risk. My very first full-length novel will hit bookshelves at the end of September and run through October. That means I have a lot of news in the next month or so. So I wrote a newsletter. In a few weeks, when I’m closer to my release date for Poisoned Kisses, I’ll write another one. I might even pen one for Thanksgiving, letting everybody know how it went. After that? I’ll probably give it a rest unless I have news about my next book.

Oh, and for the love of Pete, don’t subscribe anybody to your newsletter who hasn’t given you the go-ahead!

The Ruby Slippered Sisterhood has invited me to discuss episodic structure, and how to avoid it when writing romance novels. Come check it out!

As a romance writer there are two crucial questions I must answer for every book I write. The first is: Why do these two people fall in love. The second is: How do these two people achieve intimacy?

Now, sure, sex creates intimacy, but it should also be the culmination of intimate encounters. When it comes to structuring a romance novel, I like to think of intimacy as a progression–a series of gestures or tender moments that lead, inexorably, to a deep and abiding relationship between my hero and my heroine.

We all know the expected tropes. The hero saves the heroine from certain doom. The heroine is that one plucky gal who tells the hero where to go, and he loves her for it. Thousands of writers have used these techniques to create intimacy, and done so effectively. But what about trying something different?

Last night I was watching a film entitled Lie With Me. I’m not usually a big fan of independent art films–I gather that I’m just not smart enough to enjoy them–and there were many things about the film that annoyed or scandalized me. However, I was absolutely dumbstruck by the inciting incident between the hero and the heroine of the movie.

Picture it: She is drunk and stumbling about a smoke filled party. A man pulls her into a bathroom, presumably to get a little action, but when she stoops over the sink to splash her face, the man doesn’t undress her. He doesn’t even touch her. Instead, he gently cups his hands under the running water so that she can take a drink.

It was such a strange but courteous thing to do, one filled with beautiful symbolism, and it created instant intimacy.

So how can we use such techniques in our own work? I have a few ideas.

Reverse expectations.
If your hero is a policeman sent to arrest the heroine, intimacy can be formed when he takes the time to sponge her hands clean after fingerprinting. He’s supposed to be a gruff law enforcement guy, but this kind of consideration says more about him than you could have with hundreds of words. If your heroine is a tough-talking, no-nonsense kind of girl, but the hero sees her inner child come out at the sight of a carousel, that’s an unexpected moment of vulnerability that can help your characters bond.

Make Your Characters Vulnerable.
I’m of the opinion that intimacy develops through vulnerability. We all have faces we want the world to see, but no one can truly love us until the mask slips and they’ve seen what’s behind it. These moments usually come in times of pain or peril. If your hero is a hot-shot accountant, let the heroine be the one who sees him when he’s messed up a major account. If your heroine is a perfect mother, let the hero help her out when her kids are having a meltdown and she’s finally come up against the one parenting issue she’s never had to tackle before.

Put Obstacles in the Way of Intimacy.
In my debut novel with HQN Silhouette Nocturne, POISONED KISSES (October, 2010), my hero’s blood is the only thing that can kill my heroine. Being near him–especially when he has an open wound–might very well mean an excruciating death for her. And yet, when he’s hurt, she tries to stitch him up. Her instinct to help him is stronger than her fear for her own life, but her terror makes the moment more intimate than it could have been if she were a nurse, and this was part of her job.

So the next time you’re wondering how your characters fell in love, give them a few unexpected moments of intimacy to build on. My guess is that you’ll have a stronger story for it.

It’s a brave new world out there and there are more resources and opportunities for romance writers than ever before. Here are five great sites you may not have known about, but which could help launch your career:

• Romance Divas. This website is command central for many romance writers. Founded and frequented by many published authors, Romance Divas offers free workshops, a very active forum, and a chat room in which writing challenges are the order of the day. (I confess that without this chat room and the writers there who egged me on, I might not have finished my last novel for HQN’s Silhouette Nocturne line.) While a popular hangout for published authors, it’s also a very welcoming place for the aspiring author and readers too. Just this month, several Romance Divas (including yours truly) offered up a virtual anthology of free stories in honor of Valentine’s Day.
• Dear Author This review site can be funny enough to make you spit-take, but it also strives to be fair to the romance community. Thoughtful discussions on the future of the industry take place regularly here and the cross-section of opinions from readers and authors alike is valuable for the professional writer.
• eHarlequin.com. It may seem a little dodgy for me to recommend my own publisher’s website, but in spite of the recent self-publishing debacle, eHarlequin remains one of the most active romance communities on the net. Readers not only buy books there and subscribe to category lines, but they also hang out and chat with authors. I’ve had more than a few readers tell me that they’ve picked up my books simply because I participate in the forums.What’s more, there are many resources for the aspiring writer–including virtual pitch sessions with editors.
• Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Sometimes the snark factor at “The Bitchery” can be a little much, but the site is a wonderful hodgepodge of all things Romance, great and small. Sometimes it’s a quest to expose plagiarism, other times it’s a quest to find the title of a book that a reader once read but can’t remember. What’s more? Nora Roberts shows up in the comments section all the time, as if she were a mere mortal.
• Romance Wiki. I didn’t even know this site existed until a fan wrote to me to ask me for a list of every Silhouette Nocturne ever written. I had no idea, but Romance Wiki came to the rescue. The resource page alone is worth its weight in gold.
• Romance in the Backseat. I had the pleasure of meeting Terry Kate at RWA Nationals last year. She was the first friendly face I saw, and she carries her enthusiasm to her website where she offers interviews and promotional opportunities for authors. She even sponsors virtual writing conventions!

Okay, so that’s really six great sites for romance writers, not five. But instead of contemplating my abysmal math skills, get online and make the most of the opportunities available!