by Vivienne Westlake.

It’s something we hear over and over, particularly in our twenties. You can’t love someone until you love yourself. In the case of Lady Northam’s Wicked Surrender, the issue is love as it relates to trusting your partner and trusting yourself. The heroine, Rowena, fell in love with Simon eight years ago, but she did not trust that this love was stable and lasting. When circumstances became difficult and she felt like the hero had abandoned her, she didn’t have the strength to stick it through. Partly, it was the ignorance of youth and partly it was letting other people influence her decisions.

When we are young and in love, initially everything is exciting and new and every day is full of hope for the future. However, it isn’t until we get past that stage and experience the challenges, and differences of personality, that we can truly say we are in love. It is easy to love when things are perfect and both partners are blissfully happy. But the current divorce rates show us that this initial infatuation cannot sustain a relationship for long. One of the key foundations for a committed relationship is trust.

Most people think of this as having an honest and trustworthy partner. Someone who calls when he says he will, who is loyal and faithful, a person who will put you first and drop everything if you need a ride to the doctor or if you need money for bail. What we don’t always think about is having trust and faith in ourselves. How can you know you are in love if you don’t trust your own experience? And how can you trust that your partner is honest and faithful if you don’t believe in your own choices or if you fear that the world–or the opposite sex–is unsafe?

In order for Rowena to move forward with Simon, she had to realize that her fears of abandonment were less about what Simon did–or did not do–and more about her own fears and insecurities. She had to realize that some part of her was afraid to trust him, afraid to believe in love, and that it was easier to listen to hearsay than to take the real risk of loving someone and entrusting her heart forever.

Do you know any friends or family who have sabotaged what seemed like a good relationship or friendship because of insecurities or mistrust? Or, have you noticed a difference in how you look at relationships now versus how you looked at them 10 or 20 years ago?

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Bio: Vivienne Westlake has been reading and writing romance since the age of fifteen. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in English Literature and when she’s not plotting stories about sexy heroes and sassy heroines, she’s buying a book on British history, watching the latest teen vampire show, doing an art project or singing karaoke with friends. Vivienne is an active member of Romance Writers of America, Romance Divas, and Indie Romance Ink.

Website: www.viviennewestlake.com

This graphic tickles me because tonight I presented “Love, Monsters & Mythology: For Romance Writers” to my Maryland chapter. I think it went pretty well! I need to tweak some of the exercises to cater to beta heroes and to better help writers use mythology to bring out the themes in their writing, but it seems to have been a good start. A few folks told me that it got them back into the scenes they were writing and was helpful, so I’m feeling pretty great about that!

Of all the things I thought I’d have to learn in becoming a professional writer…learning to design flyers wasn’t one of them. I’m going to be celebrating my launch party at Constellation Bookstore here in Maryland and I have created this flyer for the event. You’re welcome to come! I will give away chocolate

Check out this list of fun and unusual ideas for going on a date with your sweetie. I confess that I’ve never done any of them, and probably couldn’t convince my husband to do most of them, but there are one or two I’m definitely putting on my list.

I love dating ideas because I’m madly in love. And because I write romance. So I’m always looking for fun things for my characters to do. What’s the wackiest date you ever went on?